What am I longing for?

There have been several things recently that have caused me to mull over the above question.  God is at work, bringing some things to my attention and gently prodding me to reflect on them and on how He wants me to think about them.

Last week I was challenged by a post from a friend whose 2-week-old baby just had open heart surgery.  She wrote about hope and what that meant to her.  The quote that stood out to me was this:
"I read something from Nancy Guthrie that has helped put this all in perspective a little better for me.
She points out that when we expect God to spare us from the effects of sin (sickness, tragedies, etc.)
'we're mistakenly expecting in this age what God has reserved for the next.'  Am I expecting God to create a 'heaven on earth' right now?"  I was completely taken off-guard when I read this.  I suddenly realized that I have unknowingly been wanting to believe that nothing tragic would ever happen to our family (i.e. death of a child, serious illness, etc).  Of course, if I am to say it out loud, it sounds ridiculous.  I KNOW in my head that we are not exempt from the effects of sin in this world.  And yet, in my heart, I have been harboring thoughts of "Surely, God would never let that happen to us, right?"  And these thoughts have filled me with fear, because it's almost as if I thought that if I were to think those thoughts, then God would allow those things to happen to me just to show me that we, in fact, are NOT exempt. 

In the past few months, I have witnessed friends' children go through cancer, brain tumors, heart defects, and some of them have died as a result.  With my own two precious boys, these topics are so very difficult to process.  But God has been working on my heart.  Yes, there are horrible, awful things that happen in this world.  Tragedies, illness, death, etc.  No one is exempt from these things, they can (and do) happen to anyone.  This has led me to ponder two things.  First of all, we can have hope.  Not "hope" that these things won't happen to us, but hope that even if/when they DO happen, this life is not the end.  We were created to live in a different, much better place!  Secondly, the effects of sin cause us to long for that other place.  Where is the only place that we can know for certain that tragedies, death and illness will not effect us anymore?  There is not a place like that here on earth, but in heaven!  God created us for heaven and I long to live there eternally.  The other day I was reading Hebrews 11 and came across this in verse 16, "Instead, they were longing for a better country-a heavenly one.  Therefore, God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them".  Wow, I want to live with this faith, longing for a place I have not yet seen or been, but I believe exists for me!

 As any other TCK (Third Culture Kid) can tell you, we long for the time and place where we will belong.  Completely belong.  And that's not going to happen anywhere here on earth, at least not for me!  The other day in my language school class, this topic was brought up.  We were learning the word "berasal" and my question was what does it literally mean.  I have known since my first day of class that I should use that word to say, "Saya berasal dari Amerika" (I am from America).  Yet, I always feel that something is missing when I stop with that phrase.  Sure, I might have been born in America, look like an American, sound like an American and have an American passport.  But, simply saying, "Saya berasal dari Amerika" is missing a big part of who I am and where I am "from"....11 years of my life was not spent in America, and those 11 years were very formative in who I am today.   Anyway, back to the discussion about the literal meaning of "berasal"....we (my classmates and I) determined that the best literal meaning is "to originate".  Of course, this just helped me realized once again that the discussion of where I am "from" is complicated, in whatever language you are speaking in!  But I am thankful for it--being confused about where I am from and where I belong here on earth, leads me to long more for heaven.  And hearing of the death of a precious 1-year-old baby girl who was diagnosed with a brain tumor, also makes me LONG for heaven, where our Heavenly Father will wipe every tear from our eyes and there will be no more pain or death.  That is the place that we were created for.